The paradox of a middle ground

 One of the most harrowing struggles in my life has been 'finding a middle ground'. There are a plethora of vantage points in my condensed thoughts that fail at this. Being liked by everyone is among the biggest ones. In our society, being everyone's favourite is something to be exalted. Teacher's favourite, a friend group's indispensable limb or anything for that matter. As social beings, it gets very hard for anyone to accept not being liked in their surroundings. Either it's a "Don't let people's opinion affect you!" or a "Don't say that, no one will like it!". Some intellectuals will say "Do things that you think are morally correct even if it displeases someone." Whether we accept it or not, after an argument with anyone, we can't help but serve a justification as to why we're right not only to the person concerned but to everyone around. Sometimes it gets ludicrous even to sleep knowing the fact that someone who once was close to me, now thinks I'm in the wrong. It's almost like, either you go to exosphere or to the mantle layer and there's no stratosphere in between. It almost feels like you're asphyxiating your own self. I have never been able to accept 'Change' as a concept in terms of people that I lose in life. Okay, now that my problem statement is finally done (almost), I now will write about the potential solutions.

Be Numb.People who think crying is for enervated or delicate people are wrong as per my belief. To unsheathe oneself for the world to see what almost seems like an entertaining exhibition of uncontrolled emotions is intractable. So the 'being numb' I am talking about is not being simply emotionless but Being numb towards your desire to present a justification everytime someone thinks you are wrong. It is almost outlandish to even think someone could bring that into practice but still. 

Be your own favourite. Not narcissistic but rather than doing overindulgent activities to be everyone else's favourite you might just be your own favourite. Rather than explaining everyone, don't do things that you might regret in the future in the first place. Even if you do it, own it. 

Eliminate the idea of finding a middle ground because it cannot exist. An approach that works for one contingency may not work for another one because sometimes you have to state the truth (don't justify) so that you don't feel remorseful about hurting someone your entire life. You are not a suitcase meant for accommodating futile apprehension.

Be the you that appeals to the mirror and not the eyes. 

-(an unstructured, all over the place heart)